Talk to each other!

Tony and I are in no way marriage experts...c'mon, we've only been married for 8 months! But, we do believe that there are some things we do well. One of those things is communication. Whether from our backgrounds in counseling or just the way we are each wired, we communicate well with each other. Not perfectly, but well. One of our favorite times to "check in" with each other is on Saturday mornings while we are still laying in bed, that one hour window after the dog has been fed but before we have to take her out for her morning walk. Last week during this time, we pinpointed 7 things that we enjoy doing on a daily basis to keep the lines of communication open.

1. Give each other undivided attention. Find time each day to give each other undivided attention, even if just for a few minutes. This time should be free of TV, doing chores, eating, nosy dog trying to sit in between you...you get the idea! For us this often takes place on the couch after all the dinner dishes have been cleared away and loaded into the dishwasher. For other couples this might happen more easily in the morning before work. Use this time to share about your day with your spouse, even the small, silly details like the person you saw picking their nose in the car next to you today, or the friend you reconnected with on Facebook.

2. No TV in the bedroom. Our pastor first suggested this to us in our premarital counseling, saying "a TV in the bedroom is the quickest way to kill intimacy." And we didn't listen. We had a TV in our bedroom for the first 6 months of our marriage and we thought it was great. We could lay in bed a cuddle while watching a movie! But what we also found was that we spent more mindless time together right before bed than we did investing in our relationship. We got rid of the TV in our bedroom about 2 months ago and haven't looked back since! We now spend our last moments before sleep engaged in intimate conversation, rather than mindlessly staring at the TV.

3. Eat dinner at the table. We eat dinner at the table together 99% of the time. I can't speak for Tony, but this is really how I start winding down for the night. I come home most evenings and head straight to the kitchen to make dinner. I enjoy cooking, but eating dinner across from my hubby is when I truly begin to relax. We talk about our days, share interesting stories from work, and give updates about family and friends. This time doesn't often fit the bill for undivided attention though, because we're also worried about stuffing our faces! Hence our undivided attention time, mentioned above, often occurs after dinner :)

4. Be interested. This is sometimes a tough one, and Tony is much better at it than I am. Really try to be interested in the things your spouse tells you. I'm not gunna lie, some of the financial stuff he tells me about is a little over my head. I try ask questions though because it's important to Tony, and if its important to Tony then I want to understand it. One thing Tony is great at is admitting when his mind has wandered while I'm talking. He will ask me to back up and repeat myself. He was worried at one point that this upset me, but actually it made me very happy! He valued what I was saying enough to ask me to repeat it, rather than pretend he had heard me.

5. Take advantage of quiet times. Most people believe that good communication is measured by the amount of time you spend talking. It is also important to learn how to enjoy the silent moments together though. Some of the silent moments we enjoy are car rides, walks with the dog, reading books side-by-side, and others. Our silent moments don't often last for too long though, because it is in the silence that we remember things we wanted to tell each other!

6. Communicate throughout the day. Whether through phone calls, texts, pictures sent, or notes left in one another's lunch boxes...don't wait until you get home after work to speak to each other. I know that not everyone has the flexibility that we do to talk anytime throughout the day, but most people have a lunch break or a spare 15 seconds to send a quick text or picture.

7. Pray together.  Tony and I pray together every day, before dinner and before bed. I often learn things about Tony through his prayers, such as the friends who are on his mind to pray for and the stressors and temptations he asks God for help with. One thing we also try to do is keep a written prayer list for each other. I share things that I would like Tony to pray specifically for me, and he does the same. This way we can better pray for each other when we are apart.

We are in no way perfect at all of the things I just listed! This is something we work hard at every day, but the work is well worth is. I hope that in 30 years we will have tripled this list, and then some. What are some tips that you can share with us about keeping the lines of communication open?

My first ever homemade pie

I decided about a month ago that I wanted to become a better cook. I have pretty decent skills in the kitchen and rarely make something horrifying, but I have room to improve. I have this goal of one day becoming an excellent personal chef for custom crafted dinner parties and small gatherings (which is another post entirely)...but I figured I can start by practicing new skills and recipes at home! What better place to start than my Betty Crocker Cookbook, which was lovingly gifted to me at a bridal shower before my wedding last June. My mother has a well-worn copy at home and I always viewed it as the "cooking Bible" for all basic and necessary skills. 

Anyway...lets get to the picture above. I made an apple pie! When searching for the first recipe I wanted to try from Betty Crocker, I decided on a made-from-scratch apple pie. I've never made a pie before, so this would be new and exciting. I never expected it would turn out so well on my first shot! Here is the recipe I used from Betty Crocker, and my steps:

Apple Pie

Crust:
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup plus 1 tablespoon shortening
1/3 cup plus 1 tablespoon softened butter
4-6 tablespoons cold water

Filling:
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
Dash of salt
6 cups thinly sliced granny smith apples
2 teaspoons water
1 tablespoon sugar

Step-by-Step:

Measure flour and salt for crust into mixing bowl and stir with fork. Measure shortening and butter into the bowl and cut into dry ingredients. "Cut in" literally means cutting through the mixture with two knives until the mixture looks like pea-sized particles. You can also use a pastry blender for this, but I don't have one. The picture above on the right is just about at the right consistency.

Sprinkle water over the crust mixture, one tablespoon at a time, and toss with a fork. You want all the flour to be moistened to the point of sticking together and leaving the sides of the bowl, but not too much water so that the mixture is sticky or runny. I used all 6 tablespoons of water, but it depends on the humidity in your home and other factors. I forgot to take a picture of this step, but the dough should look like the picture above left once gathered into a ball and turned out on a floured surface. Divide into two flat rounds of equal size. My hand is in the right picture to give you a size reference. Wrap each round in plastic wrap and refrigerate for 45 minutes. 

While crust dough is in the refrigerator, prepare your apple pie filling. Cut and peel the apples. I used my apple slicer and paring knife for this, which worked perfectly. After removing the skin, I cut each slice into 2-3 smaller slices as the apple slicer doesn't cut them thin enough. I used 6 medium sized apples, which equaled exactly 6 cups for me. 

In a large bowl (and I mean large, I tried to use a medium bowl and had to pour everything into a bigger bowl once I realized the apples took up too much room) combine flour, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, and salt. Add the apples and stir with large spoon until well combined. Set mixture aside. 

Bring your crust dough out of the refrigerator. It's ready if it is cold and firm, but still pliable. Roll one of the dough balls out on a floured surface. I had to start over 3 times because either the edges became too thin, or it stuck to the counter. Don't fret, start over when you need to, adding flour to the surface as-needed to prevent sticking. Roll until there is about 1 inch of extra dough outside an inverted pie plate (picture on right). 

Place rolling pin on top of rolled dough and roll the dough onto it to transfer to pie plate. I forgot to take picture of this for the bottom crust, but I took one for the top crust (above left). Press dough into the pie plate, making sure the crust come sup the sides and still has a slight overhang. Fill the bottom crust with the apple mixture. It will seem to be overflowing, but this is ok. It cooks down while baking. 

Roll out the top crust just like you did the bottom crust. Make a few slits in the dough (as seen in the previous step's picture). Also as in the previous step, roll the crust onto the rolling pin to assist in transferring onto the pie plate. Top crust should overhang the pie plate by about 1 inch. Fold overhanging dough under the edge of the bottom crust and pinch together to seal. This creates a thick crust edge. Form a stand-up rim around the edge of the pie plate with this thick edge (above left). This aids in fluting (making a pattern) around the edge. I chose to do a Pinch Edge, which is demonstrated in the above right picture. 

Use a pastry brush to brush 2tsp water onto top crust and sprinkle with 1Tbs sugar. Of course I forgot a picture of this step but it's easy enough! You can see the shiny sugar crystals in the above picture. Cut aluminium foil into 3 inch strips and gently form around the edges of the pie crust. I never would have thought of this until Ms. Crocker pointed it out, but without it the edges of the crust will burn before the rest of the pie is finished baking. You should remove this foil with 15 minutes of bake time remaining. You can also use a pie crust sheild, but again I don't have one. 

Bake pie in a preheated 425 degree oven for 40-50 minutes, again removing the foil or pie shield with 15 minutes remaining. The crust will be golden brown and juices bubbling through the slits in the crust. The end result looks like this!

Let the pie cool on a wire rack for 2 hours. This will be so hard because you'll want to dig right in (well, at least my hubby and I did)! But letting it cool during this time allows the pie to finish setting up. It will still be warm after the 2 hours of cooling. 

After cooling, slice it up and enjoy! Look at all that apple layered goodness! We served ours up a la mode with Kroger's Fried Ice Cream - it has a creamy cinnamon flavor...delicious alongside the pie! 

I'm considering a cherry or chocolate cream pie next. What is your favorite pie flavor? How was your first pie-making experience? Let me know your thoughts!